Baddie – Spooky spectre-producing caves.
Lesson – Can’t stab a ghost..
In my quest to watch every shark movie, I have to watch “Ghost Shark”. Yay me.
The movie begins with a fisherman and his wife attempting to catch a fish for a contest. A shark eats the fish. The couple is distasteful and irritating, I have every confidence that they’ll die soon. They try and shoot the shark, then they pour hot sauce on it, and then they throw a grenade in it’s mouth. It goes as well as you’d might expect. I mean, if I’ve learned anything from “Supernatural” it’s that most ghosts have traumatic deaths. I guess this is no exception? BUT WAIT, there’s more – it swims into a cove with runes on the cave walls, which glow, and, voila. Ghost shark. It’s revenge is swift, the CGI magnificent.
Flash forward to an equally obnoxious group of teens and an apparent miscommunication between screenwriting and the costume department, also a weird old man with a secret room. They’re at what looks like a bay beach. We soon discover that the teens are the daughters of the boat captain who was chartering the obnoxious couple. Hey guys, bummer your dad is dead.
Basically after that the plot is the same, like, people try and solve the ‘mystery of Ghost Shark’, no one believes it’s a ghost, blah blah. Meanwhile the shark itself can transport itself through any water, so the killing rampage is quite ridiculous. It goes through hoses, buckets, slip ‘n slides, plumbing, you name it. It’s possible that someone took their irrational “Jaws” bathtub fears a little…too far. And yes, there is a bathtub scene. And if you were wondering if someone could drink the Ghost Shark, the answer is yes. Yes they can. It requires some fantastic acting, I will say that. And some really unique practical effects rigging, and some interesting prop work.
At some point we start to muddle through the plot, and somewhere we’re handed the information that the cave is -also- the cause of Roanoke, probably after some kind of disease, where a few citizens were brought to the cave to be executed. Since their death was also violent, they rose as ghosts and slaughtered the community. Same deal now, but, shark. In case you were wondering, a shark can be killed with an artifact made out of what originally killed it. Naturally, this isn’t what you might call a permanent death, because horror movie.
So really, Ghost Shark is not the worst movie there ever was. It’s funny at times, even though it has no meat and kind of has the same lackluster ‘meh’ attitude as other SyFy movies, but it’s not totally dry. Maybe worth a watch with some friends and some popcorn.
Did you know that shark populations are dwindling? This is due to fear based culling, illegal fishing, and of course, the consumption of shark fin soup. Shark Savers is trying to change global perceptions and help out the world’s shark population. There are a few options to help, everything from signing petitions, doing a dive to save sharks or spreading the word and educating people about sharks. You can also follow them on Twitter for current news, and of course you can donate. If you do donate, feel free to tell ’em who sent you! I don’t get anything out of it, I just think it might be neat if a bunch of readers all donated, even if it’s a little bit of money.