Where am I? What is this place? Don’t freak out, disembodied voice. It’s just the internet. Just the internet? Are you kidding me? This place is terrifying! But we’ve kind of already lived here. Remember all those columns for the Hill News that got put online? Like, every week for the last year? Yeah, I guess. See? It’s fine. Besides, the internet is full of kittens. You love kittens. That’s true.

I make up for everything your hormones Googled when you were in high school.

Anyway, now that we’ve gotten that sorted out, welcome to Rooster Illusion. There’s a handy “What the heck is this place?” section somewhere between here and the banner. You should check it out if you’re into stuff like having this blog explained beyond this one short post. Which I’m guessing at least some of you are.

Look out for a new review going up at some point this weekend. I’ll be writing about Tim Burton’s latest Depp-fest, Dark Shadows. Spoiler: It was surprisingly enjoyable. Like, that was a review spoiler. Not a mov—ah, never mind. Killed it, man.