Rooster Illusion was born in 2008. His father was an 18-year-old James Melville, and his mother was Necessity.

Pictured: the father, a year before Rooster Illusion’s birth.

Some facts about Rooster Illusion:

-Rooster Illusion was once a weekly column in a college newspaper. He has since ascended to the next level, shedding his corporeal being to become One With the Internet.

– Rooster Illusion eats movies and craps rainbows. Scientists have yet to discover from where the film criticism originates. The current reigning theory suggests that the opinions printed in Rooster Illusion’s name are supplied by a 30-something-year-old white male chained to a type-writer in the middle of a giant hamster wheel. Whether the hamster wheel is a power source for anything or just a DaVincian torture device is yet to be determined.

-Rooster Illusion answers to one man, his father, James. Even then, the answer is sometimes just: “sod off.”

Some facts about James Melville:

-James is the Lord and Master of this blog. He writes the opinions posted in Rooster Illusion’s name. He edits the other columns. He pays the rent.

-James has loved movies his whole life. His favorite film is The Adventures of Robin Hood.  He has been talking about movies since he could talk, and writing about movies since someone offered him money to do that.

-James is in his early thirties. He is as American as apple pie, and as English as shepherd’s pie. He has two passports. He is not Jason Bourne.

Some facts about Necessity:

-Necessity is also the mother of Invention, Rooster Illusion’s step-brother. Invention is a nerd.