James Melville—Rooster Illusion, Main Guy

Rooster Illusion himself. Cannot actually do any magic tricks.

Sarah Lawrence—SciFridays, Site Artist

Sarah is a woman with style, talent, and a keen appreciation of weird animal combinations. She’s the designer of the sweet site header at the top of the page, as well as the eye-watering (like mouth-watering, only it’s so beautiful that you cry) new column headers. She has a tattoo and her own apartment. You wish you were this cool.

Drew Parton—Mindless Action Mondays, Trope-ic Thunder

Drew has a fine beard and knows the thrill of a good fight. He studies psychology and the way of the samurai. If his car exploded, he would throw on some aviators and STARE AT THE FLAMES, MOTHERF*CKER. This is why he is our Action Movie columnist. His brain is full of knowledge, and his pipe is full of good tobacco. His enemies weep at his feet. Action.

Colin French—Strange Bacon

A cynic, a scholar, and a gentleman, Colin understands politics and the economy, but he also knows the simple joy of a cold beer and a decent movie. He has traveled the roads of Canada and has probably even seen a moose in the wild. When civilization collapses, Colin will be there with a thirty-rack and a raised eyebrow, ready to take on whatever buffoonery the human race dishes out next.

Chris Melville—Second Breakfast

Chris enjoys a hot cup of tea and a good yarn. He can scoff at a man from thirty yards away, with enough force to make him question his theories on gender roles in John Ford films. Chris can also recognize a jolly good show when he sees one, and is willing to offer a hearty handshake when the time is right. I’m picturing him with a moustache now, even though he’s younger than me and if I can’t grow a good one, then he sure isn’t allowed to.

Shelley Kandola—Contributing Writer, Former Single-Malt Movies Columnist

Shelley is a pioneer, the first person under thirty to combine drinking and movie-watching un-ironically, perhaps even with class. She is the Amelia Earhart of respectfully inebriated cinema appreciation. Shelley is not a pilot, but probably could be if she wanted to. Right now, she’s getting her PhD in MAGIC (math). Education is badass.. She’s also a really good cook. It’s not fair.