Another year has passed. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve watched a bunch of movies. We have written about those movies with the passion of a thousand typewriting monkeys. We’re older, wiser, cooler, harder, better, faster, and, yes, stronger. And it’s all thanks to you, the reader. Well, not all of it. Most of it is thanks to the writers, and the outside circumstances that shaped our lives. But you are one of those circumstances, and for that, we thank you.
But don’t think that our small measure of success has made us complacent. That would be a mistake. A deadly mistake. We’re charging into 2014 at full speed, nostrils flared in anticipation of the stench of battle. Can you expect more of the same? Yes, and so much more.
A preview of the road ahead:
Merchandise: Yes, you read that right. If our reviews get your blood pumping and your brain sizzling with the fires of critical analysis, just imagine the euphoria you’ll feel when you give us money for a sticker with the site header on it. Look forward to updates on that in the weeks to come.
New Writers’ Pages: Are you captivated by our prose? Do you want to know the men and women behind the mystery? Soon, you will be able to scratch the itch left by our current About the Writers page. We’ll be giving you full-length, movie-ready autobiographies. That’s right: written by the writers themselves. From our brains to your computer. I lied about the length, though. They’ll be like 250 words. That’s still pretty dope.
More Reviews: We posted over 300 reviews and recaps this year. In 2014, we’ll be posting 3,000. Or somewhere in that ballpark. Definitely a number with a 3 in it.
That’s just a taste of things to come. Some changes, even I, The Rooster Illusion, cannot predict. Who knows? Maybe we’ll add more writers. Maybe I’ll get a tattoo. Maybe, if you close your eyes and wish hard enough, your wildest dreams will come true.