Holy jeeze consistency. Here’s episode 3.

I am less impressed this week.

I’m SORRY.

I don’t know, you guys. As I’ve mentioned before, “The Following” takes itself pretty seriously. This week was kind of like, ‘underwhelming plot twist week’. Like they fancy themselves J.J. Abrams or something. I will reference “Fringe” here, because it features wonderful plot twists in the early seasons.

I’m just going to launch right into the plot this week, so, ***SPOILERS***

I am not the only one who thought the lead FBI lady was in cahoots with Joe. She gave him the book in prison and everyone simultaneously gasped because it was during a dramatic music montage. And then it was pointless. OR WAS IT. I figure they have only a few options to go with here. She’s with him, or communicating through the book, or something. I don’t know, and I don’t really care.

Last week I expressed a desire to find out who the hell Rick was. Now we know. And I am unamused. A pyro…? That’s the best we could do here? A pyro who is a terrible orator, and ‘hates knives’ because of his ‘personal moral code’? A terrible orator who gathers a strangely large crowd of Poe lovers (It’s the historical district, sheesh) in the wee morning hours. He wears a mask simply because Poe. He’s not great at stabbing. We know this because his wife, the worst red herring in the world, almost dies because he…stabs her…during a game of Truth or Dare.

I distinctly recall my games of truth or dare ending with someone getting stabbed. “OH my god you totally love Kevin! I knew it. Truth or dare? Dare? Alright. Stab your wife.”

The other thing I was the biggest fan of this week is the love triangle caused by the gay-not-so-gay couple.

Your girlfriend’s haircut confuses my narrow mind.

I’m not gay.

Okay, a little.

Well, drunk me is prettttty gay.

Sober me gets kinda jealous.

I’m gay.

I love random grocery store chicks.

Haha, no, no, I’m gay.

Rightttt….so…that cleared it up nicely. I realize that the ‘cultists’ are pretty mentally unstable, and that this is a plot device. It’s just a stupid one. Also, a cult of six to nine people is boring. It was way crazier when it was all unsure, and anyone could be a crazy psychopath. Let’s bring back some of the crazy please.

That being said, training a little kid to kill small animals, filming it and sending it to his mom is pretttty high on the scale of ‘wtf’. Props.

Next week I would like to see more serial killers and less drama. Please? Put some tension back in this show, and not in the soap opera kind of way.

P.S. I like the part when the young guy says the media is throwing around the “cult word” because the writers clearly wanted to maintain the sentence structure but couldn’t say “c word” because that’s a whole other barrel of monkeys.