Second Breakfast Reviews Every Summer Blockbuster at Once

SecondBreakfast-01It’s [summer month], which means the blockbuster season is now in full swing! We’ve already been treated to such [adjective] movies as [recent movie title] and [recent movie title], so while this year has, admittedly, not been quite as [adjective] as last year, it’s still had us consistently leaving the theater with [plural noun] on our faces.

This week, crowds [past tense verb] outside local theaters in anticipation of the [nth] installment in the [popular cinematic franchise] series. In small towns the world over, there was a palpable atmosphere of [noun] hanging in the air. Maybe you saw coverage of the world premier in [major American city]: fans lined the streets to [verb] while stars such as [actor] and [actress] [past tense verb] down the red carpet. Truly a sight to behold.

Well, with these images in mind, I, too, joined the crowds last week to see [Movie Title]. Emotions as they were, I admit I was feeling a bit [normal human emotion], especially considering how unflappably [adjective] the previous [number] installments in the franchise were, but hey, [Veteran Hollywood Actor] was in this one, so it couldn’t be too [adjective].

[Blockbuster Movie Title] ([Year])

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The Plot: After his [family member] is [past tense verb] by an evil arch-villain threatening to overthrow democracies across the globe with his recent discovery in [most topical scientific anxiety], retired [profession] [man’s name] must reunite with his old squad for one last job, but old enemies and past grievances threaten to resurface, and this evil scheme could be about much more than just world domination…

Much like its predecessors, this new movie prides itself on its [adjective] action sequences and general disregard for [established law of physics]. Amid the mayhem, [vehicle] chases, and [weapon] fights, however, what prevails is the sense of [emotion] that has come to define the franchise as a whole. It’s true, that [number] years ago when the first movie came out, none of us thought it would eventually [verb] into the global phenomenon it has become, but as they say, [well-worn cliché].

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At its heart, [Movie Title] is a straightforward [genre] movie, filled to the brim with all the [genre] standards: hearth-thumping [plural verb], endearingly [adjective] sidekicks, and perhaps one [noun] too many, but it never loses sight of the [adjective] [noun] that distinguished it from its peers. Like all such movies when they eventually reach this [adjective] point in an ongoing series, [Movie Title] attempts to [verb] things up a bit by introducing a new [noun] for the main character, and of course by ramping up the [emotion]. It suffers, as I said before, from one [noun] too many, but in this day and age, we’ve come to expect that sort of thing.

I must say, though, [Aforementioned Veteran Hollywood Actor] really pulls his weight in this movie. It’d been some time since any of us had seen him do anything but [verb], but this performance is something a little more [adjective], recalling earlier roles in such memorable films as [Different Movie Title] and [Still Another Movie Title]. We’re not talking Oscar-winning, of course, but his performance really gave the movie a certain degree of [abstract concept]. For those of you who thought [Aforementioned Veteran Hollywood Actor] was past his prime, there’s one scene in which he [verbs] a [noun] so [adverb] that a nearby [noun] is [past tense verb] off its [noun] and through a [noun]. It’s [adjective]. Also, spoiler alert, I guess.

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There’s one really [adjective] set piece, in which the heroic [man’s name] must take control of a runaway [vehicle] whilst simultaneously performing [high-stakes medical procedure] on his [noun]. It’s a bit over-the-top, but possesses the sense of humor that has been lacking in films such as [Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice], much to their detriment. The humor is mostly situational, though, and clever witticism are all but vanished. So, I was entertained, but I can’t say I laughed very much. I did [verb] regularly throughout, though.

[Movie Title] might not have anything [adjective] to offer, but for a summer afternoon, it’s a [adjective] time at the movies. I left the theater feeling [adjective], and perhaps even a little [adjective], but as I [past tense verb] down the street, I have to admit that I couldn’t shake the memory of that one [adjective] [noun]. Will you like? I can’t say. I am, after all, just a [adjective] Internet film critic.

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