Bigggggg news this week, huh kids? Joe, escaping from prison. Whoa. Also, sad for the lawyer. Sucks to suck.

Joe spends a lot of time strategizing. Nine whole years, as he points out in some monologging with Hardy. He’s built an entire web of Followers, and he’s not really met all of them yet. He orchestrated, somehow, kidnapping his son and also blackmailing the warden into letting him free? I guess he was banking on some prison abuse? He spends all this time planning, and the audience gets cheated by the infamous ‘don’t ask questions’ escape plan. Ugh. 

For those of you who are unfamiliar, this is the plan where the audience spends a lot of time being told the villain is like, ridiculously smart, so that when something impossible happens, you just roll over and accept it (/coughSkyfallcough). “Psych” makes fun of this in the highly enjoyable episodes featuring Cary Elwes as a jewel thief. So when Joe is magically in the lawyer’s car, no one blinks. Well, actually, I technically blinked while yelling at my laptop. 

I did some research, and the internet was suprisingly full of weird things and not too many answers, but I am under the impression that stomach wounds take kind of a long time to reach the ‘fatal’ stage. I mean, at least 5 minutes. That’s why it was so popular for harakiri/seppuku. It’s no biggie to stab yourself in the heart. It’s a big effin’ deal to writhe in agonizing pain. So big of an effin’ deal that, if you were going to commit harakiri, you had to find someone to decapitate you when it got uncomfortable for people to watch. WHY can’t Hollywood do this correctly?? (Joss Whedon, you are exempt from that outburst.)

Let’s address Beau – aka snake tatts/scars/weird mustache. He’s a weirdo, can we agree? I’m glad they chose to make it seem like he habitually kept girls in cages, no big deal. I’m also glad that Emma/Charlie got so fiercely protective of it.

“You’re not in the club! You can’t kill people TOO. GOSH.”

“Stop trying to make kidnapping cool, Gretchen.”

Now, I’m going to go out on one hell of a limb, so bear with me. This limb is cultivated by a few years of sociology, or what is sometimes considered ‘loose correlations and speculations’. There are some implications with this plot line that are very…terrorism-esque. More than other serial killer plots, because those are typically intimate and around two people at most, and it’s not really a conspiracy theory plot, so…food for thought.

This episode concludes with a nifty song and a building full of murderous crazy people. They’re finally moving the wife to a safe house, and apparently Hardy went to a seminar on how to shoot at vehicles that are escaping. Sadly, he attended this seminar after failing to even try and shoot the tires on the car with Emma and Joey in it, and instead shot at helicopter doors. He’s learning, folks. Learning. Joe showed emotion, and I don’t know if it was in character or not. He’s a psychopath, albeit high functioning, so I don’t know if he’s capable of tears like that. Joey once again flips between a 6 year old and a 12 year old when convenient. What else is new.