Rooster Illusion’s 3rd Annual Octoberween Spooktacular™!*

Rooster Illusion Bossman

That’s right, ladies and ghouls—let’s be honest, fellas, we’re all basically monsters—it’s that time of year again. Summer has finally retreated to whatever fetid swamp it crawled out of, and the nights are crisp and creepy. I don’t know about you guys, but I missed that ominous cloaked figure that silently follows me everywhere I go in October. Some say it’s the specter of death, but I’m pretty sure it’s just Armand from HR trying to get me to sign some paperwork, which, obviously, I have no intention of doing.

You may think that was way, way off topic, but it was kind of spooky, right? Look at the words I used: “ominous,” “death,” and “paperwork.” You’re already at least 10% more pumped for Halloween. Regardless of where you were already, percentage-wise, Rooster Illusion plans on delivering that other 90%. If you’re already at 100% excitement, just think how much further we can push you. We could probably make you lose your mind with giddiness for the coming holiday. To be honest, that’s kind of our intention. Nothing personal, it just seems like fun.

In case this rambling shit-show of an intro wasn’t enough to win you over, here’s a few things that you can expect from Rooster Illusion this month:**

Vampires!

Teenagers in danger!

Vincent Price!

Murder!

Candy!***

So grab a vaguely seasonal beverage, put on your spookiest hat, and let’s get this party started.

 ****

*”Rooster Illusion’s Nth Annual Octoberween Spooktacular” isn’t actually trademarked. And I’m really hoping that “spooktacular” isn’t either.

**You loved it and it’s an amazing intro.

***I mean, probably. Not from us, but I don’t care how old you are, you’re eating too much candy this month.

****This song plays at every party, and you know it.

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