Baddie – Low-personal motivation.

Lesson – I suck at making lists.

I thought I might end this year in movies with some general thoughts/mini reviews/reflections, since this was my first full year as a columnist. We started this year with Piranha: 3D and ended with the odd Finnish Rare Exports. We watched a lot of Australian horror. We cringed our way through Sharknado. We also watched a lot of shark movies, but, hey, that’s never a bad thing. I got Twitter! I was also able to attend a very cool showing of Friday the 13th 1 & 2 thanks to the fine people over at Fright Rags. Incidentally, Rooster Illusion Reviews has really come a long way, and it is largely because we have readers! Thank you for letting me do this every week! 

Since it will be the New Year soon I’d like to share my blog-resolutions, with a few teasers thrown in!

1. More theatrical releases! While scouring Netflix is all well and good, I’m starting to wear through the fantastically-bad-B-movies. That means it’s time for some blockbusters! And boy, there are some great ones coming out. Look for I, Frankenstein in a few weeks, that baby’s gonna get reviewed so hard.

2. Rooster Recaps that aren’t mediocre Fox shows! Because, seriously, fool me once (The Following), shame on you. Fool me twice (Sleepy Hollow), shame on me. Coming soon to a recap near you, Penny Dreadful. 

eeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!

Okay, so I only have two resolutions. It’s cool, that’s a manageable amount!

As you might imagine, I actually watch more movies that don’t make it to the reviews. Sometimes I’ll double up reviews, but, sometimes they just…don’t get reviews. Here are some one-liners:

1. The Conjuring (2013): All’s well and good with this ghostly possession movie until it turns into the inspirational story of an exorcist’s coming-of-age.

2. Dead Snow (2009): Exciting romp of a zombie flick that’s resulted in high anticipation for the impending sequel.

3. Dark Tide (2012): Despite Halle Berry’s stellar performance, needs more shark please.

4. Sharktopus (2010): Marginally more enjoyable than Sharknado but grows very tedious and exhausting by the second act.

5. Troll 2 (1990): Just watch it.

I’ll leave you this week with a brief preview of next year’s columns, and yet another list.

• I Sell the Dead vs. Burke & Hare, a battle of zany Brit horror comedy.
• In light of the remake, at least two articles on the nuances of Charmed.
• Ghost Shark, Snow Shark, Shark Avalanche, Sharktopus v. Mermantula AND MORE.
• I leave grad school and get a real job and move to a real place. Oh god. 

Enjoy this very disjointed SciFridays, have a safe and happy holidays!