Baddie – Ottoman Turks. Those guys never learn. Lesson – Great vampire movie, or GREATEST VAMPIRE MOVIE? Continuing the Octoberween Vampire spirit, I went to go see Dracula Untold and boy did I not regret it. Guys, I don’t think it’s a huge secret that I like these kinds of movies. Single guy against the world with some kind…
Octoberween is FINALLY here. I find myself greatly anticipating it at the start of every November, and suffering the whips and scorns of the next eleven months just to get another one. What glee there is in the devilry, the macabre, the costumes, the candy! Might I yet contain myself? I’ll emote no further,…
That’s right, ladies and ghouls—let’s be honest, fellas, we’re all basically monsters—it’s that time of year again. Summer has finally retreated to whatever fetid swamp it crawled out of, and the nights are crisp and creepy. I don’t know about you guys, but I missed that ominous cloaked figure that silently follows me everywhere I…
I’m sorry, everybody. Octoberween’s still weeks away, but I just can’t wait. I’m totally psyched out for Halloween this year, even though I have nothing going on and won’t be doing anything at all except sitting at home with my obscenely large LaserDisc collection. The air has cooled down, the leaves are dying, the sky…
Well, Octoberween has come to an end. As we ride boldly ride into the dreary month of November and ready ourselves for Thanksgiving and Christmas(!), we shall not forget the creepy times that we had. Still, time goes on and though it may sound harsh, we cannot tarry to mourn. We bury our dead, eugoogolize,…
Baddie: The French! Lesson: If someone is murdering your friends and you don’t know who the murderer is, it’s probably you. OR IS IT. I KNOW, it’s November. Technically. I actually scheduled this thing to post at 11:59 so it would count for Octoberween, because, y’know, I like Octoberween. I’m gonna miss it. Next week,…
Baddie: Stranger danger! Lesson: Never go abroad. Never poop. James here. The time has come. The stars are aligned. We have broken the final seal. It is Halloween. Today. Right now. Unless you’re reading this, like, in November. But we’re posting it on Hallow—goddamnit, the moment’s gone. Anyway, Sarah and I are joining forces this…
Rooster Illusion 