Three years. Wow. What a ride. We’ve taken life a quarter mile at a time, and now WE’RE ALL GODDAMN ROCKSTARS. Thanks for reading, you’re the best (hi, Mom, Happy Mother’s Day, you really are the best!).
Last year saw a lot of changes. The site got a makeover—the montage was to die for, I really wish you could have been there—and merchandise. This year, we’re adding a new writer to our roster, and who knows, maybe I’ll even start writing again**.
So wherever you are, whoever you are, raise a glass for us and get ready for even more film criticism and probably-relevant jokes. The future is a mystery, but the present…is a party:
*I HAVE NO UNDERSTANDING OF FOREIGN GRAMMAR SO DON’T EVEN BOTHER CORRECTING ME
**It took a month, but I finally had a nightmare that the thing from It Follows was after me, so things are lookin’ good on that front. Also, Mad Max: Fury Road and a new Jurassic Park movie are coming out, and I’m pretty pumped for both of those. Pumped enough to have written opinions? Who knows!
James, you used the word “roster” without going that extra mile and making a “rooster” pun. I am very disappointed in you.
CHRIS I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS FAILURE NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN