Confession time: I have never read the books. I only re-watched half of the first movie in preparation for this review. I’ve never been to Boston in the fall. I am three children wearing a trench coat. The political stuff went way over our heads (Scott’s, mainly, because he’s the strongest so he had to…
Baddie: Stranger danger! Lesson: Never go abroad. Never poop. James here. The time has come. The stars are aligned. We have broken the final seal. It is Halloween. Today. Right now. Unless you’re reading this, like, in November. But we’re posting it on Hallow—goddamnit, the moment’s gone. Anyway, Sarah and I are joining forces this…
Yeah…I reached for that one. Also, check out my kick-ass new banner! Courtesy, naturally, of SciFridays‘ Sarah Lawrence. Don Jon (2013): The Plot: Jon (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is a buff womanizer from New Jersey. He has a ton of sex with many attractive ladies, but he’s also addicted to porn, so the sex is never satisfying.…
Some of you have been with us since the beginning. You are heroes. Your parade is coming in the mail. It will take six to eight weeks to arrive, but it will be spectacular. The rest of you are okay. Either way, you’re here, it’s October, and that’s all that matters. Rooster Illusion tradition, passed…
And, uh, not in a good way. Okay, I did laugh at the dog bit. Crotch jokes are always funny. Kick-Ass 2 (2013): The Plot: A few years after the events of Kick-Ass, Dave/Kick-Ass (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Mindy/Hit Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz) are both trying to live normal lives as normal high school students. But—uh-oh!—Dave…
In a summer of unwilling heroes and cynical detachment, Guillermo Del Toro’s Mechs vs. Monsters movie is a breath of fresh air, a shot of adrenaline, and a hi-five from your inner child all at once. Pacific Rim (2013): The Plot: Fifteen years ago, Kaiju (Japanese for “giant beast” began emerging from an inter-dimensional rift…
Just in case you still haven’t seen Die Hard. Also, I reviewed the (first) “Die Hard in the White House” movie back in March. White House Down (2013): The Plot: Cale Vente Latte (Channing Tatum) is handsome and charming, but doesn’t really have his shit together or respect authority. He does have a daughter (Joey King),…
Rooster Illusion 