State of the Rooster: Milestones and Merchandise

Rooster Illusion Bossman

Rooster Illusion is a speeding bullet. Where’s it going? Who’s taking the hit? The future, that’s who. Today brings us one step closer to making grisly contact with tomorrow’s smug face. “What’s so special about today?” you ask your cat. “Why the gun metaphor? That seems…weird.” Your cat has no answers, but Rooster Illusion does.

This is Rooster Illusion’s 500th post. That’s right. This one. The post you’re reading right now. Your eyes are a part of history. Join us as we celebrate this momentous occasion. Have a drink. Organize a parade. Write your Congressperson. Today is Rooster Illusion day, and we party the only way we know how: we party hard.

To commemorate this joyous occasion, Rooster Illusion is taking it to the next level. We’re getting serious. You’ve given us your eyes and your minds. You’ve given us the drive to come this far. Rooster Illusion craves validation, and Rooster Illusion is grateful. You are all stars.

Rooster Illusion would love nothing more than to give each and every one of you a cupcake and a high-five. Sadly, Rooster Illusion is limited by financial and temporal restrictions. Rooster Illusion cannot be everywhere at once. Also, Rooster Illusion and the other writers are in their early twenties. Money is tight. Globe-trotting is not an option.

And while Rooster Illusion is beginning to re-think that cupcake/hi-five goal anyway, he does want to give something back to you, the reader. But he also wants to take. It’s in his nature. Rooster Illusion is a conqueror. The blood of Genghis Khan flows through his veins.

The only way that Rooster Illusion can think of to give and take at the same time is by wielding the mighty sword of Capitalism.

Yes. It’s taken me 300 words, but I’m finally ready to announce that we have merchandise.

Sarah, author of SciFridays and our resident artist, has designed two kick-ass stickers. As of this post, they’re up on Redbubble for the low, absolutely fair price of $2.40. That’s less than the bagel I’ll eat at work this morning.

Show us off to your family, friends, co-workers, enemies, and pets. Proudly adorn your possessions with our name and tagline. Let your friends know that the writers at Rooster Illusion are arbiters of taste, and that you are part of the zeitgeist.

This Friday, we’ll be celebrating another milestone: Sarah’s 100th post. In honor of that historic event, she’ll be hosting a giveaway. Ten of you lucky bastards will get a free sticker. How can you be one of those ten? You’ll have to wait until Friday to find out. Sarah’s handling that.

In the meantime, give us your money, and we’ll give you unconditional love…and stickers. That’s how Capitalism works.

If you missed it earlier, you can buy stickers here.

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