IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE HE GETS A MAKEOVER.

I’m so excited I can’t breathe. If it is, they are making me wait.

The episode begins with a small boy in the forest, chasing after what turns out to be a ghost. It also turns out that Morales (Abbie’s old flame) is as suspicious of Crane’s presence in the police force as I am. The police chief informs him that Crane is a consultant, and leaves it at that.

In the meantime, the boy turns out to speak Middle English, which is of course something that Crane is FLUENT in. Y’know. It’s actually pretty. Very Germanic, just like regular English. He has black veins, at the moment, which is y’know, not good. And also he’s from Roanoke. 

For those who aren’t familiar with Roanoke, it was a colonial settlement that vanished abruptly. All that remained was the word ‘Crocatoa’ on a tree. Supernatural does a fun job of explaining it during their four horsemen mythology as well. Many theorize that Crocotoa is an illness, Sleepy Hollow being no exception. Now, this virus is spreading, mostly due to some sloppy CDC work. If you have a boy, whose disease is unknown and then quarantined, it makes a lot of sense to then quarantine everyone who made contact with the boy, especially the EMT who for some reason issued CPR on the gurney.

I tried to screengrab it, but they refer to footprints while tracking the boy’s whereabouts. The footprints are directly next to each other, as though the person was standing, and not, y’know, running, as Thomas (the sick kid) was doing.

One of the issues I have with Sleepy Hollow is that they are confined to one town, so everything has to take place there. Let me tell you – it’s a lot of weird for one town. Along this line, we’re intended to just accept that the colony happened to up and move to Sleepy Hollow, New York.

When they find Roanoke, Abbie helpfully asks, “Where are we?” as though they found another lost colony in the woods in New York. Also, surprise, everyone there is sick. So we appear to have some The Village scheming going on, sending a child out for supplies and/or help.

Incidentally, as expected, the sickness is the result of the Horseman of Pestilence, who can succeed if the illness succeeds in spreading. Crane, of course, gets infected, and sedated upon protest of quarantine (which doesn’t make sense either) and gets to see his beautiful wife Katrina. 

Okay, I think I’m in the minority here, but this show REALLY goes out on limbs. Like, huge, massive limbs. Thomas’ ghost was lured out of a dead village to infect the town of Sleepy Hollow so the Pestilence Horseman can rise again but it’s cool because they can just re-baptize him in the well in the village and now everything’s cool what. It often seems like the writers are using magic and the supernatural to get away with everything, but here’s the deal – there still has to be logic and cohesion. I know I draw a lot of parallels to Supernatural but it’s the closest in theme I can think of – Supernatural succeeds by having a very consistent lore. There are new monsters sometimes, but they are treated like groups of people that have laws and standards and every demon has similar attributes, etc. It’s not random. /endrant. See you next week.

writer OUT.