Do you ever get sick of people asking you about your New Year’s Resolutions? Everyone talks about them this time of year, but how many people actually follow through? When 2017 rolls around and you have to make new resolutions, and you have to reflect upon the successes and failures of 2016, will you even remember what your goals were in the first place? Probably not. In that case, it’s best to tackle the resolutions right away. You’re more likely to get them done that way, and less likely to forget about them. Luckily for you, I’m here to help. I obviously couldn’t get specific resolutions from everyone who reads this blog (then this article would be nearly twice as long as it is now), so I used the “Internet” to discover five of the most common New Year’s Resolutions, and, using my powers as an unpaid film critic, I’m going to recommend a movie for each entry on the list that I think would help someone achieve that goal.

The Resolution: Lose Weight

The Recommendation: Mad Max: Fury Road

“This year I’m going to lose weight.” It’s sort of the ubiquitous resolution. I thought about all the movies out there that could potentially make you never want to eat again, but I didn’t want to write about them and you don’t want to think about them, and how could a movie you refuse to watch help you at all? So, I went with George Miller’s latest post-apocalyptic adventure starring Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron. The movie takes place in a ravaged (more so) futuristic Australia ruled by war lords, cultists, and psychopaths—basically anyone who can control one of life’s necessities (in this case water, gas, or bullets). Theron’s character Imperator Furiosa leads a daring escape from the oppressive Immorton Joe, picking up Hardy’s Max along the way. All of the principle characters get some great exercise, running, jumping, and fighting for their lives. Plus, aside from a brief incident with a two-headed lizard, no one eats anything. I can think of no better way to lose weight than trying to survive in a post-apocalyptic Australia.

Warner Bros.
You know he’s getting a good workout.

The Resolution: Enjoy Life to the Fullest

The Recommendation: Mad Max: Fury Road

I know, I know. I just did this one. It’s not a bad thing if it helps you achieve multiple goals. Fury Road provides inspiration for this resolution in multiple cases. First and foremost: the brides. These ladies are sex slaves, referred to as “breeders,” to a man whose lower face is a skull mask. Nobody wants that. We don’t know what time of year the movie takes place during, but we can assume it’s sometime towards the beginning, given the (ex-)wives’ radical new approach to life, which can only be the result of a resolution. Their insistence, “We are people, not things,” and their decision to flee their oppressor in a violent cross-country car chase implies that their collective resolution was “enjoy life to the fullest.” They’re truly inspiring. Plus there’s this guy, and you know he made that resolution years ago and never turned back:

Warner Bros.

The Resolution: Help Others Achieve Their Dreams

The Recommendation: Mad Max: Fury Road

Sorry, it just seemed silly not to at this point. We’ve established the dream: the ladies want to escape Immorton Joe. Furiosa betrays her position and abandons her entire (probably comparatively not un-cushy) life to assist them along their way. She gladly endangers herself to help others achieve their dreams, and that’s great. Plus, there’s Max. Granted, he bounces from one sticky situation to another, and decides that this is probably the least sticky of the available situations, but after a point he stays with them because he believes it’s the right thing to do. Helping others is the right thing to do, and Mad Max: Fury Road can help you help others. Case in point, I am currently helping you achieve your own various New Year’s Resolutions by repeatedly recommending this movie. It’s magic!

Warner Bros.
This is what helping looks like.

The Resolution: Spend More Time with Family

The Recommendation: Mad Max: Fury Road

Three words for you: family road trip.

Warner Bros.

The Resolution: Fall in Love…

…with Tom Hardy.

The Recommendation: Mad Max: Fury Road

Warner Bros.
Oh, sorry. Wrong picture.