Now a lot of you might wonder why I would chose FX’s Archer to review with a martini rather than, say, any of the James Bond films. First off, I’ve never really enjoyed the franchise. Sure, I loved Skyfall as much as the next person, but it’s not quite my cup of tea. Archer is suave and raunchy and has a voice that could soothe you to sleep better than any nightcap. At the same time, he sounds like a complete idiot. Combine that with the flawlessly animated chiseled face and body of a world-class secret agent, and you’ve got a character very much worth drinking to. Also, episode 2 of season 4 comes out tonight at 10! Only on FX.
Dirty Martini
- 0.5 oz. Stirrings Dirty Martini
- 1.5 oz. Smirnoff vodka
“Salty, smooth, and satiny. Martini perfection.” Pour into a chilled martini glass and stir! ~ Stirrings
Plot: Sterling Archer, code name the “Duchess” (voiced by H. Jon Benjamin) is a world-class secret agent working for ISIS. His boss is his mother Malory (Jessica Walter of Arrested Development fame), and he works alongside Agent Lana Kane, Agent Ray Gilette, accountant Cyril Figgis, HR representative Pam Poovey, and secretary Cheryl Tunt. They spend their time poorly executing missions, trying to one-up competing spy agency ODIN, and figuring out who Sterling’s father is.
All the voice actors do an amazing job. As you can tell, the characters even share a likeness with their voice actors. Except for Sterling, but he doesn’t need to. H. Jon Benjamin has voiced the coach in Home Movies, Mothmonsterman in Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Carl in Family Guy, Bob in Bob’s Burgers… you get the picture. He’s everywhere on Adult Swim and in animated features of similar taste. His voice is some unfathomable combination of suave, assertive, and idiotic. I have no idea how Benjamin pulls it off, but he does, and it gives Sterling some of the best one-liners in the show. A few of my favorites:
I’ve never seen an ocelot! You want ants? Because that’s how we get ants. If I stop drinking all at once, I’m afraid the cumulative hangover will literally kill me.Speaking of alcohol, let’s get onto the martini. Archer is pretty much a James Bond parody (even the flashy 60s-style opening credits indicate as such), and since James Bond did a lot to popularize the martini, I thought it would be a fitting drink for Sterling. The Archer Wiki even has its own page for vodka, so there you go. I was a little surprised the recipe on the Stirrings mixers bottle didn’t call for vermouth, but that just costs more money anyway, so I’m okay with that. Overall though I was pretty impressed with the olive brine mixer. First, I’ve never seen olive brine in stores anywhere. I always just bought a jar of olives and drained out the juice. Compared to olive jar juice, the Stirrings mixer was much, much smoother. It tasted fine without the vermouth at all. If you like savory drinks, this is definitely a good one to choose. Now, I mentioned that tonight episode 2 of season 4 is airing. For those who missed it, I feel I owe you a recap of the season premiere. SPOILERS from here on out. Much like the season 3 premiere, we find out that Sterling has been missing for months. That time, it was because he ran away from home after watching his bionic nemesis, Barry, murder his bride on their wedding night. Now, after seeing his mother get re-married, Sterling finds himself working at a burger joint under the name Bob with a case of amnesia. If that sounds familiar, it should.
The cast of Bob’s Burgers, starring H. Jon Benjamin.
And then there’s this.
Bob’s Burgers in a parallel universe. This is some much appreciated self-mockery on H. Jon Benjamin’s part; he’s playing two of his characters in the same show. The rest of the episode is spent trying to relax at a day spa after killing some members of the KGB while ISIS tries to ease Sterling into regaining his memory. Kreiger has this crazy idea that it’s not as simple as being hit on the head with a frying pan (spoiler: it is). Instead, they have to create an elaborate plot that will slowly reintroduce elements of Sterling’s ISIS life to his surroundings. They arrange to have Lana run into Sterling at the day spa where they’ll be attacked by fake KGB agents and beat them up and win, etc.
As this show is wont to let things go awry, the fake KGB agents played by Cyril and Kreiger are upstaged by real KGB agents with real guns, and Lana and “Bob” are left to throw Molotov cocktails from behind a bar with an ice scoop. Yeah, it gets intense.If any of this has piqued your interest at all, I highly recommend tuning in to see Archer tonight. Here’s the teaser for tonight’s episode.
Bottom’s up!
Rooster Illusion 
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