Unfortunately, I already used the headline “Edgar Allan Poesers” (for which I cannot take credit) back in 2016 while reviewing Extraordinary Tales. It would apply extremely well here. The Raven (2012) The Plot: When a string of grisly murders mirroring the work of Edgar Allan Poe hits Baltimore, police inspector Fields (Luke Evans) enlists the…
Ladies and gentlemen, when this blog began over two years ago, Drew Parton made a grave error: he named his column “Mindless Action Mondays.” Not only does this constrain him to posting on Mondays (a universally acknowledged sucky day), but it also meant that he would exclusively review action movies. Now, the dude likes action…
Peter Jackson has spent some time in Middle-earth, producing six movies and oceans of profit, and fostering more childhoods than he could have anticipated. The Fellowship of the Ring hit theaters in 2001, thirteen years ago. Feel old yet? If you don’t, that’s because you’re too young, and you missed The Lord of the Rings…
Baddie – Ottoman Turks. Those guys never learn. Lesson – Great vampire movie, or GREATEST VAMPIRE MOVIE? Continuing the Octoberween Vampire spirit, I went to go see Dracula Untold and boy did I not regret it. Guys, I don’t think it’s a huge secret that I like these kinds of movies. Single guy against the world with some kind…
I’m going to cut right to the chase here: Peter Jackson, what are you doing? I’ve never done a trailer review before, but I feel like it’s sort of necessary here. In the last two years, Jackson’s come out with two installments of a prequel trilogy that should have been one movie. This December, he’ll…
It was only a matter of time before I infringed upon Mindless Action Mondays, right? This only leaves Single Malt Movies and Strange Bacon that I haven’t done, so I’m thinking maybe later I’ll watch a Canadian movie and base a mixed drink on it. It’ll be a blast. Anyway, Drew won’t care, since he’s…
Baddie – Johnny Depp/Robert Downey Jr. Lesson – If necessity is the mother of invention, reinventions are the weird offspring. I think it’s safe to say that there is a trend in Hollywood to create zany reiterations of things in the past. Sherlock Holmes (RDJ) and the BBC Sherlock, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, for example. I…
Rooster Illusion 