Parton the Interruption 2017 Catch-up

By Drew Parton

[Check out other episodes of Parton the Interruption here]

I’ve taken a rather long leave of absence due to graduate school. But during my free time, I watch a lot of movies, and just haven’t gotten around to discussing them all. So as the year draws to a close, I figured I would do a bit of catch-up with some hot takes on some of the years movies:

Baby Driver

When I originally saw the trailer for Baby Driver, I originally thought that it was merely Drive, but a comedy. And… it is—but it’s great for it. It’s fierce competition for my favorite film of 2017. I have described Baby Driver as a musical—because the soundtrack is intimately involved in the action. Every shot, movement, and motion is timed to the rhythm of the piece. I saw it when it first came out, and then saw it again on two different flights. At the risk of being hyperbolic—it is a masterpiece.

Alien Covenant

Someone needs to stop these movies. It’s not as bad as Prometheus– and surely not as confusing. But mediocre nonetheless. At least Damon Lindeloff didn’t screw it up, but it’s clearly just trying to mimic Alien. Someone really needs to take things away from Ridley Scott.

Bladerunner 2049

More like Greatrunner 204Nice. I actually thought it was better than the original movie. It was certainly more consistent and focused than the original Bladerunner, and (dear god) less boring. I actually really loved this- and almost everybody I know who saw it did too. It’s a real shame that it bombed at the box office, but so did the original. Hopefully future sales and cult following can revive it. The movie feels a little long, but it’s stylistic enough that I didn’t mind.


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Ghost in the Shell

Oof. Ghost in the HELL NO. It looked really good! It did a very good job of matching the aesthetics of the anime. But still somewhat empty. I wouldn’t say that Scarlett Johanson’s white washing made the movie bad- but I would have really recommended Rinko Kikuchi from Pacific Rim to play Major Kusanagi.

Thor: Ragnarok

Okay- this RagnaROCKED (too easy). I would rank it as my third favorite marvel movie. The other thor movies were forgettable, but Taika Watiti nailed this one. A lot of fun, and definitely more vibrant than most marvel movies. It felt more like Guardians of the Galaxy—which isn’t really a complaint—but it didn’t feel like any of the other Thor movies. Which means it wasn’t WEAK.

Murder on the Orient Express

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20th Century Fox

Murder on the BOREient express. I understand (and to some degree appreciate) their attempt to keep the sense of mystery by changing some parts of the story, because the book is 83 years old. But they didn’t quite succeed. Kenneth Brannagh is a very competent director, but he’s never really known for his sense of style. It’s not bad, it’s just mediocre. I would give it a 5 out of 10—but Kenneth Brannagh’s mustache is FAKE, so 2 out of 10.

Justice League

More like “Just-eh” league. Wasn’t bad, but missed the mark. I have already forgotten 90% of the movie. Tonally, it’s a mess—but I won’t fault the movie for it. Between Zach Snyder leaving and Joss Whedon’s rewrites, the movie is all over the place. It’s also one of the ugliest movies I have ever seen. I think the Villain was terribly bland, with weak motivations. Superman’s CGI mustache is atrocious. Whoever did the composites on it needs to lose their job. There were some fun moments between the team, although cyborg was way too vapid. The movie also makes Batman SO useless. Batman is a detective first, and a fighter second. His primary weapon is his planning, and that’s how he stands up to super-powered villains. But Batman really doesn’t do anything- and it’s laughable. Ben Affleck’s Batman was the high point of Batman v. Superman, and here he just kind of stands around. He has cool gadgets and vehicles- but they’re useless. Literally every single vehicle he uses gets destroyed within five minutes. He’s not even the leader or heart of the team—Wonder Woman get’s much more time to shine (which is the best). Wonder Woman is one of the greatest superhero movies of the modern era. I don’t regret seeing Justice League, but I have no motivation to see it ever again.


Warner Bros. Pictures

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

I was pleasantly surprised to really like this. I especially liked [SPOILER REDACTED] and the fact that Snoke is Rey’s daughter sent back from the future. Man, when Luke Skywalker finally [SPOILER REDACTED], I just stood up and cheered.  [SPOILER REDACTED] fuck PORGS.

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