Mindless Action Mondays: I Take You Suckas to School and Watch Blaxsplotation

By Drew Parton

This week, I watched the 2000 remake of the Movie SHAFT, starring Samuel L. Jackson and Christian bale. The movie is terrible. Ineffably terrible.
So consider yourself lucky I’m not reviewing it.
However, it did lead me to re-watch one of my favorite movies: BLACK DYNAMITE

Black Dynamite is a 2009 throwback/parody of 1970s Blaxploitation films.

Sony Pictures

Blaxploitation is an informal label often applied to films which are generally considered to be both low budget and of low moral or artistic merit, basically made in an attempt to gain financial success by exploiting a current trend or a niche genre or a base desire for lurid subject matter. They were made in the 1970s to cash in with the urban market.

Blaxploitation films have ranged from the critically successful (Shaft, Superfly) to the absolutely terrible (SHAFT 2000, Superfly TNT) to the just plain fucking weird.

Black Dynamite roams between both extremes- in the best possible way.

Sony Pictures

When “The Man” murders Black Dynamite’s brother, starts pumping heroin into the local orphanage, and floods the ghetto with a secret weapon disguised as common malt liquor, BD must unravel the conspiracy that goes all the way to the Honkey House itself.

This film is god. damned. incredible.

Sony Pictures
“Shh. Mama, you’re gonna wake up the rest of the bitches.”

There really isn’t sufficient words in the English language to praise this film. It is a perfect creation of the gratuitous schlock found in 1970s blaxploitation. From the ridiculous plot, the stupid, trite dialouge, the dynamite soundtrack, everything in this film is just wonderful.

Sony Pictures
Now, aunt Billy how many times I got to tell you not to call here and interUPT my KUNG-FU

The film parodies the classic films so well, down to the preposterous attempts at dramatic emotion:

Blaxploitation has produced some of the coolest soundtracks ever, like Curtis Mayfield’s Superfly or Isaac Hayes’ Shaft. Black Dynamite doesn’t let down either, when Black Dynamite cleans up the streets of drug dealers, the funk song accompanying the montage LITERALLY explains exactly what BD’s doing:

“Ain’t nothin’ in the world get Black Dynamite more mad than some jive ass sucka dealin’ smack to the kids!”

“I’d like to take the credit, but dig, mama. There’s no ‘I’ in revolut- in team.”

The film begins as the simple revenge tale of Black Dynamite avenging his brother’s death but then takes crazy-hilarious turns, fighting the evil Dr. Wu in his island lair,

“I should have known you’d be behind this, Dr. Wu. Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery!”

Sony Pictures
“Fiendish Doctor Wu, you done fucked up now! “

The movie eventually ends with Black Dynamite assaulting the White House and facing Richard Nixon (who has been lacing malt liquor with a penis-shrinking drug) in a nun-chuck duel.

Sony Pictures

Overall, I absolutely adore this movie. It is easily one of the most fun times I’ve had at the cinema and it’s consistently funny every time I watch it.
I cannot reccommend this movie highly enough,
everybody go out and check it out

Sony Pictures

Because whenever there’s injustice, wrongs to be righted, innocents to be defended, Black Dynamite will be there, delivering ass-whuppings. And I will not hesitate to lay the hammer down on any clown that comes around. Because if they wanna fight, they best come see me, because I’m Black Dynamite.

Next week upon recommendation, I’ll be reviewing the Video-Game movie Street Fighter starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and the late Raul Julia (of The Addams Family fame).

Universal Studios

recommend movies or send me hate(or love) mail: dmpart10@stlawu.edu or comment on this post

ps: The full movie of Black Dynamite is on youtube for free

2 thoughts on “Mindless Action Mondays: I Take You Suckas to School and Watch Blaxsplotation

  1. Pingback: Mindless Action Mondays: From Zero to Hero | Rooster Illusion

  2. Pingback: Second Breakfast: Biff, Pow, Zocko | Rooster Illusion

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